***

Keira Knightley, if you're reading this, I'd like to marry you. ... Okay, now for my unbiased review. ... Sorry, babe. I know you wouldn't respect me otherwise, and I got street creds to think about, so I have bitchslap your flick. First of all this movie wasn't in American, it was in English. And Jane Austin lived, what, in the 4th century or something, so she's dead, you know what I mean. So the story is pretty dated.  What's it called: a tragedy of manners? Who does that shit anymore? I liked how you told that old coot off though, that was rad.  I don't think she was the queen this time, but hey, power to the people man. Oooh, she was pissed. What happened to her anyway? Did she ruin that guy you hooked up with? I think there's room here for a sequel. And what was with that ending? It was like from Happy Days or something. Did Austin write that? Pretty hip for a dead chick. ... So, guys if your watching this with your girl-- and why else would you be?-- just remember to not say alot and hold her when she starts crying. Somehow chicks dig flicks with period dresses and tall future wife beaters with English accents. ... And Keira? Do you like peanut butter? Just asking.